Talking Crap...

Zach_Manchester (@Zach_Manchester) 31/03/2010 11:46 Just went for a pee, and someone in a cubicle was having a very loud and eventful poo. I hate it when people do that. At least pause. Ugh.

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 12:00 @Zach_Manchester I agree. You think they'd at least use their T-shirt rolled up as some sort of muffler, but no.

Zach_Manchester (@Zach_Manchester) 31/03/2010 12:10 @pigonwheels - use a T shirt!? I am intrigued - show me with the use of a hastily sketched diagram and Twitpic it for us!

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 12:17 @Zach_Manchester You know those bucket tubes builders use? http://flic.kr/p/zR5oc I'm thinking something similar leading from botty to...

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 12:17 @Zach_Manchester ... water surface, made of clothing. Obviously you'd need to be topless (or pooey) for the rest of the day but it's a...

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 12:18 @Zach_Manchester ...small price to pay to spare your co-workers Noisy Poo. Zach_Manchester (@Zach_Manchester) 31/03/2010 12:25 @pigonwheels - Mark! What a splendid idea! I actually think you should delete your previous tweets and quickly patent the idea! Clever man!

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 12:44 @Zach_Manchester I wonder if@EddieMalone could draw me some patent diagrams...?

EddieMalone (@EddieMalone) 31/03/2010 13:11 @pigonwheels @Zach_Manchester I'm at work so I have just clumsily made you 'The poo shute' http://www.twitpic.com/1c5po9 Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 13:13 @EddieMalone @Zach_ManchesterThank God I didn't cut corners on the graphic design. This patent is ready to fly! Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 13:15 @EddieMalone @Zach_Manchester Is anyone else thinking what I'm thinking? Think PooChute... think wool... think @rachaelburns... winner!! Zach_Manchester (@Zach_Manchester) 31/03/2010 13:16 @EddieMalone @pigonwheels - no way is that clumsy, it's fantastic! Hahaha! Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 31/03/2010 13:18 @Zach_Manchester @EddieMalone Shit, wrong Rachael Burns. Think @rachael_burns instead. I've got a PooChute situation to dig myself out of.

Rachael Burns (@rachael_burns) 31/03/2010 15:37 @pigonwheels @Zach_Manchester@EddieMalone what are you lot on about, and why is my name being dragged through the poo?

Strange ideas.

Sometimes, the name of imaginary and fantastically crap variety acts or pop groups circle around in my head. It can get quite annoying.

Currently, I have "Boy George and his Karma Chameleons" in my mind. This only works if it's said in a cheesy DJ voice like Tony Blackburn's or "Diddy" David Hamilton's.

The other one that visits my brain from time to time is a cockney drag act "Chicken and Chips". Basically, this is just Chas n Dave wearing bad make up over their beards and singing their crap pub-rock.

Another regular feature in my head is "... story - on Ice!" where upon a minor celebrity's life story is acted out by ice skaters. "Ice Claudius: The Derek Jacobi Story - On Ice!" for example.

It took weeks for the phrase "Lesbian The Wonder Horse" to leave my mind. The ever witty @pigonwheels used Emoji to shorthand it as:



Sometimes, I wish my brain would shut up.

Riding the smelly Northern Rail train home

The carriages of Northern Rail trains always smell like toilets.

This one is no exception.

My Ancestors

My Ancestors, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

shopping can be fun. But it never is.

Animated GIF Paranoia

 Animated GIF Paranoia. 

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Swissmiss/~3/aEwQ5OsOeGk/animated-gif-paranoia.html

popped off a few balloons sitting

5 minutes in 30 seconds

5 minutes in 30 seconds, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

Not a pretty city...

Not a pretty city..., originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

Super 78

Super 78, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

The Pope furiously bashes bishop after latest reports of child sex abuse

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8577740.stm

Kittytime!

Manchester Hasn't Got Talent

Manchester Hasn't Got Talent, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

NEW TWITTER FEATURE!

Mark Whitaker (@pigonwheels) 19/03/2010 15:01 Use Twitter mostly to whine on about your crap life? Then why not give it some extra welly on #wallowfriday!

Amusing myself

Zach_Manchester (@Zach_Manchester) 19/03/2010 13:29 Tee-hee! I purposely said "excuse me madam" to a man with long hair who was taking up too much room on the escalator. I still have my teeth!

Sent with Tweetie

Radio Spiritworld (Inter-dimensional)

Check out this podcast on iTunes:

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=322392989

;p

;p, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

A New Kind Of Kick

A New Kind Of Kick, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

First sea drawing

First sea drawing, originally uploaded by johnpaulthurlow.

It's me!

Like a small insect...

Yay!, originally uploaded by Zach Manchester UK.

...I am coming!

Hunx and His Punx "Gay Singles" - now on iTunes

@truepanther, 04/03/2010 16:52

True Panther Sounds (@truepanther) 04/03/2010 16:52 Buy the hunx and his punx album on itunes y'all http://bit.ly/bQ6W9j

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"Ladies and Gentlemen, for your inflight entertainment...

...two annoying loudmouths"

Ah, bliss. My favourite kind of entertainment. Usually, I get this riding the 86 bus. But, oh my stars, I am lucky to enjoy such Neanderthals several thousand feet up in the air!




















This delightful duo are sitting next to me. I am thrilled to hear their exploits and stories of sexual conquests. By the sounds of it, no woman is safe from their charms. That's because most women love men with bad neck acne...yummy!

According these aspiring Romeos, Robbie Williams is a "fucking ugly poof". Which I suppose they should be happy about, because that means more women for them, naturally.

It's also delightful to hear their ponderings on the pubic hair of the senior hostess. They are musing (quite loudly) that "her gash hair is really fucking thick and possibly five inches across".

Spotty, the one nearest me, let out a "fucking hell! We're fucked!" when he heard the captain's voice. The captain sounds Indian. So obviously, he's a terrorist (?!).

It's only 10 minutes into the flight and I will have to be loudly entertained by them for the next 90 minutes.

I really hope they don't breed. In fact, for the benefit of mankind, I hope this plane takes a slam into Mont Blanc therefore preventing from polluting the gene pool. Obviously, I would become an integral part of the Alps, embedded into the rock with blood, gore, twisted metal and Ryan Air scratch bingo cards, but that is the sacrifice I am willing to take.

I wonder if it would shut them up if I held my passport open so they could see my first name of Mohammed and then start loudly praying to Allah?

But the fact that I have just wolfed a mini Melton Mobray pork pie might just put pay to that idea.

The thing that's just pissed me off the most is that the loudest one (the one with the dark hair) has just got out his laptop down from the overhead cabin - it's a MacBook Pro (I *thought/hoped* Apple was a-hole free. I stand corrected).





















He's showing his travelling companion, and indeed everyone else, his snowboarding videos, where he is the star (of course). It galls me to admit that they are actually really well made. He's put them together in Final Cut Pro but set them to rancid music. Very well filmed and edited though. I wonder if he works in the media? That would explain his misogyny, homophobia and hugely inflated ego.

Break a leg?

I'm sat in the departure lounge of Liverpool Airport, waiting for my flight to Grenoble. I am surprised it has free wifi here. I have to say that this airport is one of the dirtiest and self important airports I have travelled from. But, it is an economy airport, so I shouldn't really expect much.

I am really excited about meeting up with Jé and Damien. Apparently, the weather might not be good for skiing. That's ok, I am pretty crap at it anyhow. But it is good fun.

Tomorrow, we will go to Apremont to see his parents Els and Raymond and his sisters. Hopefully, Damien's mum Marie-Jo will be there too. They always make me and Andy feel very welcome.

I'm hungry! I think I will look at getting some food. I have 65 mins until my flight. I hope I can get something edible.

Edit: I bought a pizza that only took 2 minutes in the oven?! £5.50. Considering I found £5 earlier, not bad, I suppose!

Exhibition: The New Faces

This looks great - I saw this on the Creative Review website. What superb portraits.

Photographer Dean Chalkley's exhibition, The New Faces opened last night at The Book Club on Leonard Street in London..
The New Faces is a collection of images Chalkley took late last year of a group of young Mods who he first encountered at his monthly DJ night, Shake!, at The Boogaloo pub in Highgate. Intrigued by their sharp dressing and enviable dancing skills, Chalkley suggested he immortalise their look and attitude on celluloid and invited them to come to a studio shoot. "These guys are the antithesis of the all too common don't-give-a-fuck attitude of some young adults," explains Chalkley. "They're bright young folk who take a real pride in how they present themselves and they're really into their music - mainly late 50s and early 60s rhythm and blues. They're actually from varied backgrounds and different parts of the country – but their shared passion for music, dancing and looking sharp brings them together. And you should see them dance –they look good and they've got the moves!"
Here is a selection of images from the show:

Somewhat fittingly, the title of the show was suggested by none other than the Modfather himself, Paul Weller. Chalkley explains: "I'd just finished a shoot with Paul and I was showing him the contact sheet with these images. I told him all about the shoot and that I was going to exhibit the images but explained that I was still unsure about the title of the show. Paul responded with 'It's The New Faces' and that was that. It was a perfect suggestion."
The New Faces runs until 29 April at The Book Club, 100 Leonard Street, London EC2A 4RH
See more of Dean Chalkley's work at deanchalkley.com

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/cr-blog/2010/march/exhibition-the-new-faces

A film by my Flickr friend, seannyK

friends. :-), originally uploaded by seannyK.

I adore this film!

Time for a (cheap) haircut

When I'm not doing a DIY job with the clippers, I visit Malcolm at his barber shop on Oxford Road.

I have been coming here for 12 years or so now. He only does perhaps 3 styles, but that's fine by me. I am not fussy and I resent paying more than £10 for a haircut.

I am surprised that he is still cutting hair; everytime I see him, he always says that he wants to give up and take a holiday with his wife. Incidentaly, his wife gets her hair done every week, but not by Malcolm. She goes to a ladies hairdressers, Malcolm only does mens hair. Also, she likes the fuss that she receives.

I forgot how much fun it is to get your hair done by someone else.

I think that DIY jobs are over!

Maybe it's my filthy mind